Round 1 - Mighty Ducks vs. Queens - Set to begin!
It's been way too long since I've been able to say this, but ladies and gentlemen we are finally on the verge of the greatest rivalry in the history of Southern California professional sports. Yes, on Tuesday, October 25th, 2005, the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim will take the ice to take on the Los Angeles Queens in a regular season game.
I am looking forward to this more a fat man looks forward to an all-you-can-eat buffet! I will try to contain myself for now and give you my completely biased preview of the game.
The Queens are off to a great start, unfortunately, though they have taken leads of 4-0 and 2-0 and turned them in to regulation losses, so even if the Mighty Ducks somehow get behind early in this game it is no reason to panic. I think Jeremy Roenick has been injured since opening night, only playing in one game since. No word on what his injury is, other than being embarassed to wear glitter in an NHL game. Some Queens fans have contacted me to tell me that he has in fact played every game this season, but that can't be. He'd have more than just one point since opening night. I mean, after all, this guy make $5 million a year! There's no way a guy making that much money, and with a mouth that big, could actually have just one point in eight games. Surely he's been out injured.
Andy Murray, who is still trying to clear his throat, will stick with his goalie rotation and start Jason LaBarbera whether he deserves it or not. He has played very well so far this season, but he's not a good goalie at all and as long as the Ducks can get some shots up on him they will torch him for an easy win. He's also played some bad teams. Beating Phoenix and Columbus is nothing to brag about, beating an Edmonton team on the second night of back-to-back road games is nothing huge and beating Dallas looks easier every day. He's also never faced more than 30 shots in a game. If the Ducks can show him more rubber than a free hooker, they'll win easy.
Sean Avery will probably play in this game, and chances are very good he'll throw some cheap shots and run his mouth. Fine. Right now he's that kid that teases the dog on the leash just out of the dog's reach. Eventually, the leash will snap and the dog will kill him. I hope to be watching the night that happens. I've said too much about that no-talent piece of shit already and until he actually grows some balls and decides to drop the gloves with ANYONE, I will refuse to discuss him any further.
I'm told that Luc Robitaille is still on the Queens, but again, that can't be right. The dude has to be in his 40's by now and he wasn't exactly torching the league under the old rules. If he is in the line-up, great, it's one less player we have to worry about stopping.
Pavol Demitra is on the Queens now. Too bad he didn't bring any talent with him from St. Louis. I've watched the Queens play and it's hilarious watching Demitra with the puck looking for someone to pass to. You can almost hear his thoughts, "Corvo...no. Norstrom...no. Conroy...no. Robitaille...LUC Robitaille? Really? No. Good God, where's the talent on this team? Holy shit! I'M the talent on this team!"
The Queens have a young kid named Dustin Brown that likes to hit hard. He also likes to take dumb penalties, so count on at least one big hit and at least one dumb penalty from him tomorrow night.
Finally, there's Michael Cammalleri. He lit up the AHL last year and for some reason the Queens fans still call him a young prospect. Dude has played almost 70 games in the NHL now, he's not a prospect. Corey Perry is a prospect, Cammalleri is a younger version of Andy McDonald.
Before I leave you, a few predictions:
1. Queens fans will be foaming at the mouth before, during and especially after this game.
2. Kostopolous, Avery & Brown will all take at least one penalty that comes as a result of being over-aggressive.
3. Avery will start a fight by either hitting someone late, hitting someone illegally or by making racist comments. He will then refuse to fight and Queens fans will applaud him. This is less of a prediction and more of a guarantee.
4. George Parros and Kip Brennan will get into a fight.
5. Joffrey Lupul will be the best player on the ice for either team.
6. The Mighty Ducks will win 4-3.
Folks, enjoy the game and remember that no matter what happens, we've got seven more of these still to come this season!